Post Malone Wannabe, Pre-Malone, Busted in Odessa
Admit it: the first thing you thought was, 'Hey, that kid looks like Post Malone, too!'
According to the Odessa Police Department, 20-year old Braiden Ray Stout, who we shall call Pre-Malone from here on out, was arrested in Monahans after being sought for Aggravated Robbery.
Here's the Odessa PD's summary of the case and Stout's arrest:
On February 24, 2021 at approximately 0350 hours, Odessa Police responded to the 300 block of Drury Lane in reference to two gunshot victims. Upon arrival, officers made contact with a 31-year-old male and 25-year-old female, who had sustained gunshot wounds.
Both victims were transported to a local hospital with serious bodily injury. Investigation revealed that both victims had been robbed and shot at by a male subject, later identified as Stout.
So, Pre-Malone tried to rob two people and then decided to go all gangsta and pop a cap in his victims. Then, he allegedly took off West on I-20 where they found him 30 miles away. Maybe it's me, but I'm thinking he wouldn't have been hard to spot, with his elementary attempt to emulate one of the most recognizable artists of this generation.
Officer: "So, can you give me a description of the man who shot at you?"
Victim: "Ummm, yeah. He's the Doritos Guy. Post Limon."
Officer: "This guy?"
Victim: "Yeah, that's him!"
Officer: "Okay, ummmm, I'm pretty sure that Post Malone didn't take a shot at you."
Victim: "Then, maybe it was his little brother or something. Whatshisname? Pre Malone?"
Officer: "Ummm, okay. I think we're going in circles here."
Victim: "I love that song..."
Either way, Pre Malone is off the mean streets and Odessa is a little safer. Of course, that's not saying much. It is Odessa, after all.
Maybe he can get some new facial ink in the pokey to complete the look.