Once again, leave it to the City of Lubbock to suck all the fun out of a normal day.

We know it's wet. We see it falling from the skies. Red Dirt turns into soup during thunderstorms, so I have already ruined two perfectly good pairs of shoes in this goop.

via GIPHY

So, thinking that the City Of Lubbock feels compelled to disseminate the following to residents seems a little pointless, no matter how hard they try to be cute and funny.

"DON'T BE A PAIN IN THE GRASS"

Pain in the grass...yeah, we see what you did there, Shecky.

1025 KISS FM logo
Get our free mobile app

I have a better idea. Keep the intersections from becoming jacuzzis during thunderstorms and maybe, just MAYBE, this advice would be useful. I mean, have you driven through 98th and Quaker after a gullywasher? You can lose a child in the deep end, for crying out loud.

via GIPHY

(Not actual footage)

This also goes back to the principle that if you generally tell someone not to do something, it's essentially a dare for them to go ahead and try it. (See: Drugs.) So, I actually kinda want to drive through a Lubbock park now.

I can see my new commute now:

via GIPHY

Yep, I'm MUDBOGGIN' IT to work!

via GIPHY

Who's gonna stop me? Footloose and carefree, not a concern in the world as I make short work of Henry Huneke Park.

via GIPHY

Don't you see now how pointless this is? We all know better; we're not going to turn Prairie Dog Town into the freakin' Autobahn and park all over Meerkat Manor. Come on, Lubbock, give us a little credit, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me...I have to go do some more donuts on Wes Nessman's lawn.

10 Highest Appreciating Neighborhoods in Lubbock Since 2000

Here are the 10 highest appreciating neighborhoods in Lubbock since 2000, according to Neighborhood Scout.

Tornado and Wall Cloud Pictures From Monday, May 17th, 2021

10 Facts About Prairie Dogs That You Might Not Know

Prairie dogs might as well be the official animal of Lubbock. Here are some fun facts about the plump little critters.

LOOK: Route 66’s quirkiest and most wonderful attractions state by state

Stacker compiled a list of 50 attractions--state by state--to see along the drive, drawing on information from historic sites, news stories, Roadside America, and the National Park Service. Keep reading to discover where travelers can get their kicks on Route 66.

See the Must-Drive Roads in Every State

More From 1025 KISS FM