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Lubbock Police Department Will Now Allow Beards for Patrolmen

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Beards are now legal. At least for Lubbock Police Department patrolmen. I would say officers, but this new rule (hopefully) won’t need to apply to women on the force. I guess you never know. though.

The Lubbock Police Department has been attempting to increase recruiting efforts in new and interesting ways. Allowing beards for guys is one way. But as with everything involving The Man, there are rules and stipulations.

Here is a snippet from the policy:

Beards, whether full or goatees, are authorized; however they must be worn with a mustache. Beards shall be kept clean, neatly trimmed, and present a conservative, professional appearance. Facial hair of any kind that presents any sort of faddish appearance is prohibited. No portion of the beard may be exceptionally longer than the rest, and beard hair length will nor exceed 1/4 inch. The neck must remain clean shaven.

So you can have a beard, but just barely. And it has to be a full beard. Which I feel is a little discriminatory to those of us who are more evolved, less ape if you will, and therefore do not have a full beards as our more monkey-ish brothers.

Some of us have little patches of barren wasteland upon which no blessings shall be bestowed. I guess it just sucks to be us. But for you hairy bastards out there who want to join the police force, you can keep your beards now.

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