1025 KISS FM

Heathen

Heathen was born to 1 of 2 lesbian mothers, neither of which will take responsibility for him anymore. He went to school. School sucked. Pretty early on he noticed a surging fondness for boobs, breasts, knockers, ta-tas, sweater monkeys, you name it. So when he was old enough to get into the strip clubs, 13 I think, he found himself hanging around the dumpsters because they would also routinely kick him out for “egregiously groping the talent”, whatever that means. After a few years he realized that heaven was a place on earth, and guys could actually get paid to hang around these women by being what is commonly referred to as a sleazeball. Better known as the tittie bar dj. So he got his first job at the Poop-N-Shoot, a topless bar/firing range on the outskirts of an airport someplace where they don’t do background checks. Everything that happened between then and now is anybody’s guess, but I bet if you check enough “official” records, you’ll find something. Anyway, now he’s on the radio and we all have to put up with him. Nice.

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