Okay, we need to have a serious discussion about condiments.

Yeah, I know..."Hard-Hitting Journalism, again?" All day, every day, campers. You get what you pay for.

Along those same lines of "you get what you pay for", that statement never seems to ring true when it comes to the little extras that you get at the local drive-thru concerns here in Lubbock. Take for example the photo of the Whataburger Ketchup packets above. I did not ask for those, knowing that i was going to bring my Whata-bounty home where I have a perfectly good ketchup bottle ready for combat. But, no...apparently the Ketchup Mafia has decided that I SHALL CONSUME ONLY WHATA-KETCHUP!

Alas, I still used my standard bottle of Heinz and kept these as Armageddon supplies....adding them to my stash.

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If you want proof that we tend to get "overserved" on the condiments, this will be "Exhibit B", my top left desk drawer.

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media
Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media

The Rudy's "Sissy Sause" is the cornerstone here.

I have a friend who was asked not long ago if he wanted ketchup, et al with his order, and turned it down. He thought he was clear that he did not want any sauces, etc. However when he opened his bag, there were no less than NINE ketchups included, dwarfing his burger. And, no...he did NOT get fries, so there is no excuse.

Yet, we hear stories often, especially post-pandapalooza, that restaurants are facing supply chain issues and are limiting the number of extras in each order. Chick-Fil-A famously announced a "2-Sauce" maximum, which they held to when I asked for more in a grand experiment. It appeared that these "sauce-strictions" were coming to an end with the onslaught of ketchup, soy sauces, etc. that I've gotten my hands on lately, but then the stark reality hits you in the kisser.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash
Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

I rarely get my coffee on the outside, but this week has been long and I needed my fix, so I went early to another local drive-thru and asked for a large coffee. No more, no less. After paying, I got my cup and change, and was about to ask if they had any sugar for my coffee. It was never offered, and before I could ask, drive-thru guy had already turned his back and walked away from the window. I guarantee, if I'd asked for ketchup, I'd have probably gotten 12, or so...but no sugar. Just the idea that they wouldn't even ask if I needed sugar, as if I had an entire sugar cane plantation in my truck was surprising.

Perhaps it was an oversight, or reinforcement of the general lack of consistency and collusion among the fast food nation of Lubbock. I'd like to get what I ask for, or not ask for...

By the way, need to borrow some ketchup? I've got plenty.

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