5 Things That Would Make Me Care About ‘Dancing with the Stars’ [VIDEO]

Okay, for all you stay-at-home moms and serial monogamists it's time for yet another round of 'Dancing with the Stars.'After seven years, I had really hoped that the American people would have had their fill of this show but, apparently not. Consistently one of the highest-rated shows on TV, 'Dancing with the Stars' continues to invade and "terrorize" millions of homes all over the world. Could anyone please tell me why? Or how?
Here is a list of five things I would like to see on 'Dancing with Stars':

First of all, the geriatrics have got to go! Did you guys see "American hero" Buzz Adlrin make an absolute joke of himself -- or should I say made a fool of -- by the exectutives of ABC purely for rating points? Check this out:

Second, at what point are we actually going to see some real "stars?" Kate Gosselin? Really? This woman's only claims to fame is that she was willing to embarrass herself and her family on national television week after week, as well as having the worst of the worst hairstyles on the planet. And I'm sorry, but those kids -- gentle Jesus, I've said enough.

The third item on my hit list is: why can't we see two actual stars or celebrity couples dance together? Why pair a so-called "celebrity" with a "professional" dancer? I would love to see Rihanna and Chris Brown try the tango -- especially when they are in the middle of one of their knockdown, drag-out fights. That, my friends, is reality! Do you know how many times I have put on smiley face and gone out or sat through a dinner with a girlfriend that I really couldn't stand to be around at that time? It'd be fun to watch them try and work through a routine when you know they can't stand to be in the same room?

I have to ask-- With all these people watching dancing on television week after week, how is it that none of them actually go out and dance? Has our quest to experience everything from the couch finally been realized? With millions of people watching all this dancing going on you would think that it would inspire them to put down the Doritos and Dr.Pepper and actually go out among the other three dimensional people and dance with each other. That sounds a lot better than watching a D-List celebrity and professional dancer you have never heard of do it.

Finally, could we stop making absolute fools out of people. It's one thing to laugh at someone and it's another to laugh with them.It seems that the "Stars" only want one thing more desperately than a crystal disco ball! And that may be that last moment in the spotlight. That one last time in front of a cheering crowd. If you have never felt it or experienced it, trust me when I tell you that it feels so amazing that you would do something ridiculous like go on 'Dancing with the Stars' to feel it just one more time!