We’ve Found 5 People With Lubbock Ties That Will Smith Should Slap Next
(WARNING: BAD PHOTOSHOPS AHEAD)
Ever since the infamous Slap Heard 'Round The World at the 328th annual Academy Sports Awards, people have been speculating as to what this will mean for Will Smith's career, how Chris Rock should have responded (taking the high road-best possible response), and most importantly: how was Donald Trump responsible?
But we digest. Instead, a lot of us were thinking about who else might have deserved to have the Fresh Prince smack the taste out of their mouth. And since Lubbock is full of famous and infamous characters, it only makes sense to come up with a
pathetic grab for web traffic short list of Lubbock's most slap deserving. Which also means that since we still haven't mastered Photoshop, you'll have to suffer through some gawd-awful images to get to the barely smirk-worthy comedy. So let's get started.
I love this image.
If Chris Beard hadn't abandoned Lubbock like Tom Brady abandoned his first baby mama to shack up with Gisele, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. But we tried to give him the moon and the stars to stay (remember the free chicken wings?), and he still packed his carpetbag for Austin. In the end, we still upgraded our coaching situation with Saint Mark Adams and a Sweet 16 bid this season. But the way he played us, Chris Beard deserves a visit from Will Smith.
I know, I could have made his head bigger.
The latest supervillain to darken the dust-filled skies of West Texas, Bart Reagor stands out as someone who admits no blame nor exhibits shame for the multi-million dollar grift he masterminded at the Reagor-Dykes Auto Group (soon to be a Tesla location). However, once he settles in behind bars, he'll probably be dealing with more than just a simple slap, especially if he tries to steal anyone's ramen on canteen day in federal prison.
This guy still wants HOW MUCH money from Texas Tech?
Regardless of the bowl games he brought us to and the fact that he still professes his love of Cagle Steaks, Leach still finds time to crap all over the folks in charge of Texas Tech Football after he was let go. We don't take kindly to anyone who craps all over Texas Tech football. That's Joey McGuire's money now, son.
I kinda feel dirty with this one. Dude is like 85 years old and has Jesus on speed dial. I probably need to put a lid on this one, but I promised you one more.
SENATOR TOMMY TUBERVILLE
Former replacement for Mike Leach and current U.S. Senator from Ala-freakin'-Bama Tommy Tuberville knows a thing or two about smacking people around; just ask Kevin Oliver. Plus, he was 9-17 in conference play. So, turnabout is fair play.
And no, we won't apologize for the lousy photoshops. We're stuck with freeware from the former Czechoslovakia over here.