This Is Why Fat People Do Not Commit Crimes [VIDEO]

As a chubby person I realize that there is certain things I cannot do.Ride the rides at Disneyland, play Twister and be a good criminal. Police in Redding, California are on the lookout for a 350-pound would-be thief, who tried to rob a convenience store earlier this month while it was closed but just ended up embarrassing himself. There's security footage of his attempted heist online, and the first thing he got wrong was forgetting to cover his face with pantyhose before stepping into frame. So he walks away for a second to adjust his mask, and then comes back.

Then he tries to break one of the doors with a rock, which police say tripped an alarm. And when he tries to run off, he trips and busts his ass! I have to say the best part is, the footage the cops released is sped up, which makes it even funnier.