Report Says These 10 Texas Beaches Are Full of Crap

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It’s summertime, and admittedly we all have stories about a truly crappy day at the beach. No, we’re not talking about finding parking, or getting sunburned. We're talking LITERAL crap.

Poop.

Dookie.

Doo Doo.

Hiney Honey.

We’re talking about sh!*, people. And LOTS of it.

Last week, Environment Texas released a study of the beaches that had scored the highest in regards to the amount of fecal matter found at beaches nationwide. They measured the number of days that they potentially found unsafe “Butt Butter” in the water against how many times they had tested those waters. In some cases, there appears that there are beaches in Texas where you're literally swimming in a brown tide in 7 out of every 10 days.

The report found that 55 out of Texas' 61 beaches were found to be unsafe for swimming at least once.

via Gfycat

Remember the scene in Caddyshack where they sterilize the pool after finding an ironically-shaped Baby Ruth? In that instance, it may be time to drain the entire freaking GULF OF MEXICO.

via Gfycat

And now, without further delay, here's the crappiest list you’ll read today.

Texas' 10 Most Fecal Bacteria-Infested Beaches in 2020

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Every beach town has its share of pluses and minuses, which got us thinking about what makes a beach town the best one to live in. To find out, Stacker consulted data from WalletHub, released June 17, 2020, that compares U.S. beach towns. Ratings are based on six categories: affordability, weather, safety, economy, education and health, and quality of life. The cities ranged in population from 10,000 to 150,000, but they had to have at least one local beach listed on TripAdvisor. Read the full methodology here. From those rankings, we selected the top 50. Readers who live in California and Florida will be unsurprised to learn that many of towns featured here are in one of those two states.

Keep reading to see if your favorite beach town made the cut.

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