The Lubbock Police Dept. Is Writing Short Stories About Stupid Criminals & It’s Awesome

I don't know who runs the Lubbock Police Department's social media accounts but they deserve a raise after writing this short story about a recent car theft.

Usually, when a police department puts out a press release, it's just straight information and generally not wrapped up in a bow. In fact, it seems like most new crime stories end in something similar to, "the suspects are unaccounted for." So when the LPD got an opportunity to talk about a two-for-one special, the ran with the opportunity.

The Facebook post starts off with an admission from the department that they know the people of Lubbock want the tea. There's nothing like a little crime gossip, especially when the suspects have already been apprehended.

"Our story begins with a car break-in in the 3700 block of 134th Street," reads the post. "Unfortunately for our suspects, the owner of the car had themselves one of those handy-dandy video cameras that gave us this beautiful photo of the crime in progress."

The story goes on to describe two criminals who steal a car, then do more crime in the stolen vehicle, all while being caught on camera.

The crime novella from the Lubbock Police Department even relives the moment these two guys led officers back to the stolen vehicle that was holding, you guessed it, all the other stuff they had stolen.

"These guys walked on over to a parking lot in the 5400 block of Avenue P, and low and behold, there was the stolen Toyota! Not only that, but the stolen Toyota had property, specifically a CD case with all the jams, that was stolen during the burglary."

The script is probably already being shopped to Netflix and Amazon.

Here's the full post from the Lubbock Police Department:

Kudos to the Lubbock Police Department for recovering all of the items that were stolen and getting them returned to their rightful owners. Also for arresting 43-year-old Aniseto Olivarez and 34-year-old Angel Ramos.

I'd love to see the LPD do more features like this (for the right scenario) and show the community that it's not all doom and gloom like so often leads the news.