10 More Insane Rules Buffalo Springs Lake Should Consider

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As we reported Wednesday, the Buffalo Springs Lake Board of Directors, staff and ordinance committee members will host a town hall Thursday evening at 7 p.m. as they seek public input on some controversial rules and ordinances they're looking at putting into place.

Some of the more controversial/ridiculous rules being considered would limit how many fishing poles a person can use, ban loud or just annoying music, outlaw language that offends people, and even prohibit the throwing of balls. Seriously, you can read the the story and the language of those ordinances here. Also included as a possible rule? No pets at the beach.

In the spirit of those crazy proposed rules, we've come up with 10 more that we think the people of Buffalo Springs Lake would like.

Spray-on Sunscreen

Those wishing to use spray-on sun screen must do so before arriving at Buffalo Springs Lake or must stand a minimum of 10 feet away from other individuals so as not to accidentally discharge sun screen onto someone else. After spraying and rubbing in sun screen, the user must be approved by Buffalo Staff that the sunscreen has been used in the proper manner.

Beach Dwellings

(a) Sand Castles, Sand Huts, Sand Homes, or any type of sand building of any kind is prohibited unless the builder applies for and receives a proper Buffalo Springs Lake Sand Dwelling Permit. Permits can be purchased for a low $35 fee at the gate. Each permit is single use meaning that if a Sand Dwelling is destroyed by nature or family member, another permit is required to rebuild.

(b) Sand Dwellings can be no taller than 3 feet high and no wider than 3 feet. No rocks, sticks, or vegetation is allowed in the building of a Sand Dwelling.

Large Groups

No more than 5 people may gather in a group in any one space on the beach or along the shoreline. Parents who have more than three children can pay for an extra child waiver at the gate.

Splashing of Water

Any purposeful splashing of water is prohibited at Buffalo Springs Lake. Not every visitor to the beach or to the lake wants to get wet. Splashing of water could also result in injury or drowning.

Modesty

Those at our beach should dress in modest swimwear so as to not upset the ordinary sensibilities of others. Also, this isn't a club; it's a lake, and children are present.

Fishing Activities

Hooks are no longer permitted at Buffalo Springs Lake as they could cause injury and trauma to fish and humans. Noodling and catching fish via net are both still acceptable.

Pickleball

It sounds fun, but includes a potential projectile, laughter and paddles. This can't be allowed.

Limiting Our Carbon Footprint

To better serve our climate, no more than 20 gas-powered trucks and SUVs will be allowed inside Buffalo Springs Lake at any given time. A climate fee for such vehicles will be imposed at the gate. For our visitors with electric vehicles, no fee will be assessed and you will receive priority parking and access to the boat ramp.

Cookouts & Grilling

Smoke from foods being prepared on the grill should not be allowed to linger or float into someone else's space.

Scary Stories While Camping

Visitors are no longer allowed to tell scary stories around a campfire. Such stories may scare kids and could cause crying which could annoy or wake up others. Positive, up-lifting stories around a campfire are encouraged.

These are just a few more rules that I thought the leadership at Buffalo Springs Lake may enjoy. Am I missing any?