Lubbock Restaurant Review: The Funky Door Bistro and Wine Room

Want wine?  They've got it!  

I decided to treat myself to a birthday dinner on Monday, November 3 with an experience at the Funky Door Bistro and Wine Room off 82nd St.

I've been here many times and even participated in their "Intro To Wine Tasting" dinner class. Having spent over 16 years living in Northern California/Nevada, I've developed a palette for fine wines and definitely know what I like and what I don't.

From the wine connoisseur's perspective, the Funky Door has one of the best lists in the Hub City. The usual suspects are there: Merryvale, Duckhorn, Silver Oak, Far Niente, Opus One and Camus -- wines one would expect to see in any dining establishment that prides itself on its vino selection.

They also have the Enomatic, a clever device that allows users to put credit on a pre-paid "wine card" whereby the user can scan the card and try different size samplings of wines usually out of the price range for the casual consumer in a "by the glass" forum. (Mind you, some of these by-the-glass purchases can still range upwards of $50 a glass!)

From a food and serving perspective, tonight seemed a bit off. Our very gracious waiter was an admitted novice when it came to what wines were available. They seemed a bit understaffed on this Monday night too, as our starting order of slightly dirty Martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives took about 15 minutes to arrive since the server had to do the stuffing himself.

We got the crab cakes, cheese sticks and hummus for appetizers. The crab cakes appetizer was really just one cake, which made it hard to share among six. However, the hummus was served in a very large bowl and was more than any of us could finish. The cheese sticks, a combo of cheese wrapped in phyllo dough, is something the Funky Door is known for -- and for good reason; they were wonderful!

Entree-wise, the first item my wife ordered was shot down by the server as "not something he enjoyed." He recommended trying something else instead. Hey, at least he was honest! I chose the pork chop, which was massive and perfectly cooked, as were the rest of the entrees.

Finishing up the meal, we were offered the birthday cheesecake. I asked the server if there was lemon, orange or coconut rind or shavings in the dessert, to which he replied "...I don't believe so, that is the way it comes out of the box."

I thought "out of the box" was a strange answer for a boutique eatery, so I asked again as I clearly could feel the texture of some kind of additive. Once again he replied: "that's just how it is out of the box."

Pre-made boxed cheesecake at a high-end place like this? C'mon! They can do better than that.

I requested a glass of Grappa to end the night as none of my guests had ever tried it. Grappa is a traditional Italian aperitif made from grape peels, stems and seeds. It's believed to aid in digestion of large, rich meals.

The server had no idea what I was talking about.  We went to the bar and the bartender was also clueless. With the Funky Door's extensive wine selection and boutique-style atmosphere, the staff should definitely be better informed and equipped.

One last warning: the menu online at the Funky Door website is quite different from what you'll find in the establishment.

All in all, the wine and food were great. And staff knowledge can be taught.  Due to the apparently boxed cheesecake, initial lengthy wait for drinks and the absence of a traditional after dinner drink, I'd have to give the Funky Door a solid B+.