The 10 Houses That Made Us Say “Absolutely Not”

Everyone has been to that one house. The one you walk into and then immediately begin planning your escape. Should you pretend there's a family emergency... or simply disappear into the night?

The RockShow With Chrissy And Wes asked Lubbock listeners: What did you see at someone's house that made you NEVER want to go back?

After reading dozens of responses, we have narrowed down the Top 10 stories that made us laugh, gag, and stare mindlessly into the middle distance. 

10. The Loofah

Staying the night at a new friend's house is always a bit of a gamble. Finding out the next morning that there were no washcloths and only one communal loofah could be considered a full betrayal. Even as a small child, one listener knew: their friendship could not survive.

9. "Just Ash Anywhere."

Nothing makes you question your life faster than being told cigarette ash is a decor choice. One listener reported excusing themselves to smoke outside and never returning to the ashy mess.

8. The Sunken Living Room Trap

A sunken living room sounds super retro and fun until you realize that none of the furniture is tall enough to make it easier to crawl out. One listener is still stuck down there emotionally.

7. The Haunted Doll Collection

Picture this: China dolls. Everywhere. Watching you. Judging you. Making creepy eye contact. One overnight stay at Granny's house can leave you scarred for life.

I find clowns very unsettling. Nope.

6. The Flying Roaches Awaken

A listener reported that while opening a cabinet, roaches decided to FLY OUT. They screamed, ran, and did not go back for round two.

5. The Dog-Licked Spoon Dinner

If the shef stirs the food and then lets the dog lick the spoon before putting it back in the pot, dinner is friggin' canceled. Permanently. Some boundaries don't really need much of a discussion. Gross.

4. The College Apartment That Proved "No Dads Live Here."

A listener shared that they were shocked when they saw their daughter's first college apartment. Animal poo on the floor. Overflowing trashcans. Broken Toilets. Strange Smells. Light all left on. Parent everywhere probably feel this one in their soul.

Read More: Lubbock's Bird Die-Off Is a Perfect Horror Movie Setup

3. The Cat in The Freezer

Finding out your friend keeps a dead cat in their freezer is horrifying enough. Realizing you've been drinking bottles stores right next to it? That's when you quietly put the cup in the trash and reevaluate all of the life decisions that got you to this point.

2. The Hallway Hitler and Satan

Nothing prepares you for leaving a friend's guest room like locking eyes with a framed painting of Hitler. Or....Satan. One listener described seeing a shrine to them at their friend's home.

1. The Crime Scene

A few stories contain elements of real danger. Trash bag full of mysterious "green bricks." AR-15s were waved around while drunk. Cops are asking questions about a murder. Multiple listeners realized the same thing in different houses: If someone goes down, I'm definitely going to jail just for being here. That, my friend, is the universal sign to get the heck out of dodge!

Honorable Mentions (Because Dear God)

• Knee-high piles of cat poop

• A 13-gallon trash can half full of urine

• Babies dropping pacifiers onto filth and having them wiped on a shirt

• Ghosts

• No toilet seat

• No beer and no snacks (arguably the most unforgivable)

Final Thought

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Oh no… that sounds like my house,” it’s not too late.
Clean. Call someone. Buy washcloths. And for the love of Lubbock, do not share loofahs.

Thanks to everyone out there who shared one of these hilarious stories. Keep scrolling for more questionable Lubbock fun in the galleries below....