The Lubbock Art of Pretending You Didn’t See Someone You Know

One of the most important skills you'll develop during your time in Lubbock is how to avoid someone you know (and maybe don't like) when you catch them out in public.

It happens to all of us. You can't take a trip to Walmart without seeing the guy who sat in front of you in first grade, your college professor, or the doctor who treated your embarrassing rash last week.

You spot them.

Avoid eye contact completely...

And now, the full operation begins...

Here are some fail-proof (hopefully) ways to get out of awkward convos:

The Sudden Phone Emergency

You pull out your phone and stare at it like you're reading fascinating newly discovered pages from the Bible.

It doesn't matter if the screen is black.

You've just received the most important text message in human history.

The Menu Maneuver

This one is a lifesaver.

Spot someone in the restaurant that you DON'T want to talk to?

Raise the menu.

Not casually.

I'm talking full vertical coverage.

Study the difference between the fajita plate and the enchilada plate up close and personal...6 inches from your face.

The Mad Bathroom Dash

You see them coming...

You don't know if they are walking toward you or someone else.

It doesn't matter.

Straight to the bathroom.

You will spend the next 16 minutes scrolling Facebook and praying they don't need to use the potty.

The Bush Technique

This one is really only for emergencies.

Like spotting your ex...

You see them walking your direction.

You also see bushes.

You are now just another shrub.

Crouch behind it and remain completely still and silent until they pass.

Did they see you?

Probably.

Do you look absolutely stupid?

Yes.

Absolutely.

Did you have to talk to them?

No.

You're welcome.

Fake Grocery Store Interest

You spot someone you don't want anything to do with at the grocery store.

Suddenly, you have never been more interested in olives.

All of them.

Or olive-them if you prefer...

Read the stupid olive labels until the person disappears.

Works every time.

Read More: How To Handle A Bad Meal At Lubbock Restaurants

The Vehicle Reconnaissance

Sometimes, you'll spot a person's vehicle before you spot them.

That's a warning.

Slow down.

Stop at the nearest gas station.

You're now dying for a fried burrito.

And to never see that lady again...

The Worst Part

You usually aren't avoiding them because you hate them.

The majority of the time, you just don't have the energy to entertain a convo in your jammies at Walmart.

All you wanted was toilet paper.

And now you're stuck hiding in the bushes on a random Tuesday afternoon.

That's a pretty real Lubbock experience if you ask me...

Keep scrolling for more silly fun in the galleries below!