I am going to be the first to say that I'm obsessed with breasts.

I came from a generation where Playboy magazine was a big deal, and tops among those pictures were pictures of naked tops, yeah, hooters. I'm just a big fan and I apologize because I know that it's now seen as being on the edge of creepy.

The fact is, despite my own creepiness, I know there should be no big deal about whether a woman goes topless or not. Personally, I think everyone should keep their shirt on, but the laws should be applied equally to men and women.

The problem with being topless in Texas is there are a lot of gray areas here. First off, you legally can, but only if your municipality (town) hasn't put an ordinance on the book (which is probably against the state constitution). Secondly, while you might not catch an indecent exposure charge, someone could as least charge you with disorderly conduct. Ultimately, what would probably happen is you could be fined or arrested, then after all that hassle charges would be dropped.

There is one town is Texas where you should have no problems at all, and not surprisingly, that's Austin. The website gotopless.org officially lists Austin as "Topless Tested" meaning you're free to let Thelma and Louise swing as free as you want to.

Times are changing, and I'm good with it. I'm also sorry that I'm one of the people who would both stare at your chest and give you a big high five for feeling comfortable enough to air out the ladies. You women should absolutely have the right to mow the lawn, sunbathe, or whatever without the law being called.

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If you haven't tried all of these, you'd better hurry up and do it before I tell Texas on you!