Do you remember this story about a guy who decided to whip it out in broad daylight and take a tinkle in a Lubbock parking lot?

Pepperidge Farm remembers...


To refresh your memory, you can either check this story from last year or pull up a chair and listen to the heartwarming tale of my very first week in Lubbock.

I was still living in a local hotel while I waited for my new Lubbock apartment to be ready, and was sitting in my truck in the parking lot one afternoon finishing up a phone call. I looked off in the distance and noticed that inside a row of work trucks were two Mensa members pounding PBRs in the front seat of their work truck.

Now, I'm not judging, as I've been known to enjoy the flavor of hops and barley in the front seat of my whip from time to time. But what happened next made one HELL of a first impression of our fair city.

CAUTION: Picture below may be NSFW

Image: Lance Ballance-Townsquare Media
Lance Ballance, Townsquare Media

I observed one of the PhD students stagger out of his truck and mosey to the back bumper in plain sight, whip out his moneymaker and begin to drain the main vein right there in the parking lot.

Again, I wasn't immediately sure of what I was actually seeing until I looked more carefully and saw that Drunky Redneckerson was, ahem, "mid-stream." Needless to say, my first reaction (as anyone's would be) was "WHERE'S MY CAMERA?" Thankfully, he continued to relieve himself long enough for me to get a couple of action shots, because no one was going to believe this story without proof.

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Now, before you haul off and call me a creeper, keep in mind that you would have done the EXACT SAME THING I DID. It would be all over your Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, what have you. So, don't judge.

When he finished, he clambered back into his truck, and opened up another cold one. Dude could have at least washed his hands after........oh, right. Pretty sure he wasn't concerned about hygiene or Covid-19.

As I asked at the time: What the hell is wrong with people? Admittedly, this seemed to be a one-off incident, but it just reinforces a stereotype that we don't need in West Texas. On the bright side, their trucks had New Mexico license plates, so they weren't from here anyway.  Time to reconsider that border wall outside of Clovis.

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