Amber Heard’s Private Email Details Johnny Depp’s ‘Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’ Behavior
Though she never sent the message to her ex-husband, the actress' private email was read aloud in court amid the Pirates of the Caribbean star's ongoing legal battle with The Sun, who called him a "wife-beater." (Depp has denied these claims.)
In it, Heard described her struggles with the actor's alleged drug and alcohol use, as well as accused him of "repeatedly" assaulting her while he was drunk and never apologizing for his "booze-fueled zeal."
"I just don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Half of you, I love. Madly. The other half scares me. I can’t take him. I wish I could, but I can’t. The problem is, I never really know/understand which one I’m dealing with until it’s too late. The drinking assures me that I am dealing with the monster. The abused scared insecure violent little boy," Heard wrote. "I just can’t tell where the line starts. Also, drugs seem to guarantee I will be forced to deal with the monster as well."
She continued, "Once again, it’s knowing what/how much/and when – which makes all the difference. Sometimes the hangover, the morning after is just as bad as the full-on disco blood bath I’ve come to expect."
Heard, who met Depp on the set of 2011 comedy-drama The Rum Diary before marrying him in 2015, then explained how she fell in love with him while he was sober. However, she claims he ripped "the mask off once [she] was in."
"I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I have put up with so much. I have cleaned s---, vomit and p-- up both literally and figuratively," she added. "You have hit me repeatedly. Something you should never have done. What a f---ing man you are. And NONE of this would be possible without the booze and drugs. NONE."
Read Heard's full email over at Deadline.