Let's make one thing clear: Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan is not Taylor Swift's father, despite the insistence of some web-based pop conspiracy theorists and meme-makers. Swift's dad, a man named Scott Kingsley Swift, is a top financial advisor and business owner—not one of alt-rock's most iconic musicians. But that didn't stop Corgan from acknowledging the bizarre rumors anyway, which he did in a decidedly Corgan (read: confusing) manner yesterday.

On Friday (July 27), Corgan shared a meme pointing out facial similarities between him and the pop star on Instagram, where he treated followers to a lengthy diatribe about Swift, "Digital Age culture" and identities.

"You have to love the Internets. Seems this is a new meme going around (someone sent this to me) where I guess the question is(?): Is T Swift my child," Corgan wrote.

"Hmm...I'll take the compliment of the comparison here despite the fact that I guess the jokes on me? (and not the lovely and talented Miss Swift)," he continued, continuing to muse on the nature of "image/self-esteem/God/and self-love"—though whatever any of that has to do with people thinking he's Taylor Swift's dad is beyond us.

Check out his essay(s) in full, below:

Crazy Celebrity Conspiracy Theories