There's not much in this world I'm afraid of, not too many dares I'm unwilling to take. But I chickened out. Big time. I was going to do this, I agreed to it- and then I got scared and I backed out.

I'm ashamed. I have been whining and moaning for years that Lubbock doesn't have any competitive eating challenges like our friends up north in Amarillo do. So when Urban Bricks presented me with the opportunity to attempt to eat their pizza, "made with carolina reaper, and habanero peppers, along with a few other spicy ingredients", I jumped at it. If you finish the pizza you get a T-shirt and a beer!

via Urban Bricks Pizza

However, before I tried the pizza challenge a bunch of my friends and I tried the Paqui One Chip Challenge at Nightmare on 19th Street- on stage, in front of a whole line of people. It was so hot. So hot my tongue, gums and fingertips went numb. So hot I had to suck back firey buckets of drool so I didn't create an unladylike puddle on stage. We were all miserable (except my friend Jessi, but she's a mutant) but none of us were willing to be the first to drink the milk.

That wasn't the worst part though. That night I had the most hellacious heart burn of my life- so bad that antacids and ice cream wouldn't put a dent in it-I finally just took a bunch of benedryl so I could sleep it off.

So that's why I chickened out. I'm sorry. I was going to do a video and everything. Here's a consolation video of me eating a ghost chili burger a couple years ago. Again, I'm sorry I'm a weakling.